My Conversation With Peter, Paul and Patricia . Part one

By Dr jalarth Uche Opara

It was a bar-side- honest conversation.

The atmosphere was cosy, and the soothing sounds of serenading music in the background made the evening even more heartwarming. On our table were four well-garnished catfish, four bottles of water, three cold cans of Heineken and a can of Coca-Cola.

Our conversation was not a tailored one. Whatever came to mind, we engaged honestly, pouring out our hearts and bringing our experiences to bear without inhibitions or restraints.

We talked about the crazy video clips on sexual enhancement for men, trending like wildfire across the internet.

It was a matter of deep concern to the four of us, particularly because of the inherent dangers of men experimenting with some of the bizarre combinations prescriptions being promoted. Almost everybody has turned to online one minute, quick ejaculation, floppy penile remedy coach.

Beyond the dangers of consuming health challenging concortion , these videos also reveal a troubling reality: the apparent prevalence of male sexual dysfunction and the desperation of many men to find solutions.

The question on the lips of Peter, Paul and Patricia was: Why are so many men becoming victims of this situation? The answers were not particularly clear, and the conversation left us with more questions than answers.It was, indeed, a deep and challenging reality for the male folk and the bane of many marriages.

However, of all the random conversations we had, I was particularly fascinated by our final discussion. It was one of those conversations that exposed the very foundations upon which many marriages are built.Patricia triggered it with a rather intriguing question:

Can spouses still enjoy robust engagement, meaningful conversations and deep emotional investment in each other, sharing quality companionship without touching, kissing or engaging in sexualised conversations?

Can couples sustain intellectually stimulating discussions for hours without becoming bored simply because there is no physical display of attraction or sexual undertone to sustain the excitement?How long can spouses discuss the multiple issues of life with genuine enthusiasm and never run out of things to talk about?

Sadly, many couples are not necessarily best friends. They may share a bed, raise children, manage a home and fulfil their marital obligations, yet find it a Herculean task to engage each other in ordinary, friendly conversations without running out of words. This raises a fundamental question about the quality of companionship in marriage.

Are we marrying people we genuinely enjoy as friends, or are we simply attracted to people whose physical presence and sexual appeal excite us? The most fascinating marriages, in my estimation, are those in which spouses can talk about virtually everything. They share ideas, exchange opinions, disagree without hostility, laugh over the most ordinary things and experience no dull moments in each other’s company. They are intellectually stimulated by each other, emotionally available to each other and genuinely fond of each other.

Even without the immediate trigger of sexual feelings, they still enjoy being together.Perhaps one of the greatest tests of marital friendship is this: Can you still enjoy your spouse’s company when sex and touching are temporarily taken out of the conversation?

When physical attraction is momentarily absent, what remains should not be emptiness, awkward silence or a desperate search for something to rekindle excitement.There should still be friendship, friendship that creates no boundaries on what to talk about and the kind of humour shared. Marriage isn’t an official contractual relationship with bottle necks. Marriage is a union of loved souls who are unlimited and unrestrained in communicating love, care etc to their spouses without either sounding official or restricted.
This is one of the most underrated foundations of a lasting marriage.

Thanks Paul, Peter and Patricia for this wonderful sit- out- conversation. It was worth the time and money spent. Let us do it again when convenient.

Jarlath Uche Opara
jarlathuche@gmail.com