LOOK AT MY FACE AND TELL ME I AM WRONG

Dr jarlat Uche opara

There is a strange weakness that hides behind power: the fear of truth. Many people claim they want honesty, yet they surround themselves with people who bow, nod, flatter, kowtow and echo their opinions in a most unreal manner. They prefer the comfort of praise to the discomfort of correction. They cherish those who fetch and carry for them, not those who hold a mirror before them to see who they are really. And so they drift, untouched, unchallenged, and unrefined by the truth that could have saved them.

But true leadership is forged in the furnace of candour.True greatness invites disagreement, not blind loyalty.

“Look at my face and tell me I am wrong”. These are words only a courageous soul can speak. A leader who can say this understands that truth is not disrespect. Correction is not rebellion. Criticism is not hatred. It is the highest form of loyalty, loyalty to progress, growth, and integrity.

Yet many hearts cannot bear it. They build small kingdoms of silence around themselves, where every voice says yes sir, even when the path is crooked. Where every soul says you are the light even when it is obvious you are the container of darkness. They expel anyone who challenges their comfort. They mistake agreement for affection, and criticism for betrayal. And so they shrink, not because the world is harsh, but because they have driven away the very voices meant to strengthen them.

Leadership should never be an echo chamber. When a leader speaks and everyone agrees without thought, the room becomes dangerous. Leadeship should not be a group think, a comfort zone and a cognitive dissonance.

Peter Obi once said if after three meetings his ministers keep agreeing with him without constructive criticisms, he would let them go. Not because he hates agreement, but because a team without independence is a team without value.

A leader is not a king who must not be questioned.
A leader is a steward who must welcome the truth.

To look a person in the face and say “You are wrong” is an act of courage.
To hear it and reflect on it without being miffed, an act of greatness.

Truth is not an enemy of power, truth is the compass that keeps power from getting lost.Let those who lead learn to love the honest voice of those around them.
Let them cherish those who challenge them with respect. Let them bless the friend who tells them what they need to hear, not what they want to hear.

The person who dares to look into your eyes and tells you, you are wrong is not breaking you—they are saving you and building you.

Our leadership problem is embedded in this fear of truth. We all want to be addressed as wearing Fendi wears even when it is obvious our wears are faded and threadbare.

Until we get mature in emotional intelligence to take both constructive and disruptive criticisms without being embittered, aggressive and cantankerous our growth would forever be stunted. Ones ability to take in criticisms in good faith defines the very core of one personality. Many using this emotional measurement tool would probably fail the test.

Tell me the truth no matter how bitter. I prefer it to flattery that gives me a false image of myself. Tell me the truth to my face than lies that ballon my empty self. Flattery may be sweet but very destructive.

Jarlathuche@gmail.com