Culture
Ned and Gina: A case Of Cracked Diamond
Dr jarlat Uche opara
I have received multiple of calls asking I share my views on this Ned and Gina saga, a display of shame on the social media space.
I wouldn’t join the various on-line in-laws and on-line tribes and village groups to escalate the already messy situation. Rather I would generally talk about what marriage isn’t and is, using their trending story of love gone sour to admonish you my parishioners.
The story of what happened that led to where their love situation is isn’t new to anybody. You all have at your finger tips the whole gist, the drama, the dance of shame, the ugly revelations, the arrest etc, recounting them would be unnecessary and possibly boring.
Amidst the noise of social media lies a silence, a silence louder than any accusation. It is the silence sound of a marriage that has lost its sacred covering, stripped bare before the eyes of strangers who now feast on their pains and what they did and enjoyed in the secret that have been made public unashamedly.
Marriage, by its very nature, is sacred. It is not a stage for public entertainment, nor a gallery for social media spectators. It is a private covenant; two imperfect souls learning, forgiving, and growing behind closed doors. The moment it becomes content for the crowd, it begins to die.
Love cannot breathe in the atmosphere of public judgment. Trust cannot heal under the weight of trending hashtags. What began as affection can easily turn into performance, where smiles are rehearsed for photos and tears are hidden behind filters.
Ned may truly be innocent. Regina may indeed be victimized. But when marriage becomes a courtroom tried on Instagram, Facebook etc truth becomes a casualty. Both hearts bleed, and the world claps, enjoying and being happy with the stench of people’s secret lives made public.
Today it is Ned and Gina. Tommorow it could be you if you prefer to shout your hurts before the microphones of the internet, forgetting that peace is not born in chaos and social media, the least place to get peace and reconciliation.
Marriage is sacred, not because it is perfect, but because it is private. It is a holy ground where two hearts learn to forgive, to fall, and to rise again. When one turns that ground into a theatre of public opinion, one invites strangers to walk on it with their dusty shoes of judgment.
The diamond of the love they shared is now cracked. Many are obviously happy, jeering at them and thumping their chests, bragging how they predicted the marriage wouldn’t last.
Ned and Gina played into their traps and the loop is well tightened by the jugular of their hitherto love situation, struggling to have a breath of fresh air.
I wouldn’t know how Ned and Gina would navigate this ship of love on a stormy sea. It could eventually capsize or be rescued it all depends on when the stop this dance of shame and swimming in turbulent waters without a life jacket.
Waking up and sleeping on social media, washing ones dirty undies won’t help. Theirs is a case of a cracked diamond, the cracks either can still be used to artistically produce beautiful Rose flowers or it can be deepened to cause disintegration and total break-up. The choice advertently or inadvertently is theirs.
Learn from their mistakes. Correct their errors in your marriage. Use their hurts and mistakes as a balm to heal where yours pains. Look beyond the drama on the social media and get sense for a more peaceful, sacred, private and forbearing marriage experience.
Pray for them, don’t feast on their pains and hurts. Social media, the wrongest place to seek for counselling and marriage tutorial. It is a space for all sorts. The divorcees, the addicts, the feminists, the masochist, the male chauvinists, the sexual perverts, the atheists, the necromancers etc. Imagine all these advising one on ones marriage or anything of particular concern to one. Confusion wouldn’t be far from being ones menu on a platter, decorated in an enticing manner, beneath it lies poison that would destroy one for life.
@Fada Blunt