Opinion
Weed Off Praise Singers
An average human being does not take kindly to criticism. They discountenance it, resist it, sometimes even attack the person who brings it. A mirror that shows us our blemishes is rarely as welcome as one that reflects the bloated image we have or others have constructed of ourselves. Pause!
Nothing destroys a person faster than flattery.Nothing brings a person more rapidly from the height of self-importance to the lowest rung of reality than a mind that continually basks in vainglory, nourished by image-massaging and praise.
If all you have around you are people who sweet-talk you, weave you constantly in threads of flattery, and paint you on the canvas of life without a single spot or blemish, your journey will eventually become unsteady, dangling on a dangerous precipice
You need someone who can look at you and say: “No. This is not right.” Someone who can tell you when you are wrong. Someone who can puncture your inflated ego.Someone who can challenge the narrative you have about yourself. Someone who is not afraid to lose your friendship, patronage, appointment, favour or approval simply because they have chosen to tell you the truth. Trust me you need such persons.
Among all the praise singers blowing your head out of proportion, telling you everything that makes you think too highly of yourself, feeding you the opium of an over bloated self-image to smoke, have at least one or two people who are bold, honest and sincere enough to tell you exactly how it is with you.
If necessary, pay a professional devil’s advocate to scrutinise those mountains of praise, assumptions and unfounded hypers around you. Do it now. You may thank me later.
I have played the role of an unpaid devil’s advocate to many people, and I have never regretted it. Not because criticism is always right, but because honest interrogation is healthier than unchallenged adulation.
Many people are dancing around naked, empty and psychologically inflated, believing they are dressed in royal apparel because their hype men and praise singers keep telling them they are magnificent.
The tragedy is that some eventually mistake the applause around them for evidence of their greatness. It is not.
Sometimes, applause is merely noise, empty, with no truth, only a means and channel to get favour.
Get yourself a devil’s advocate. Or, at the very least, find an honest person who will not budge when it comes to telling you the blunt truth.
You may hate them today. But if they are right, they may be the very person who will save you from your self destruction tomorrow.
Learn to weed off sycophants around you. Learn to sieve chronic praise singers from your circle of friends. They are poisonous, nothing good but to give you a fake image of yourself.
Imagine our political leaders having professional devil’s advocate. Imagine them having as close friends those who can look straight into their eyes and tell them the truth ungarnished. We would certainly be good for it. Rather what we have around them are people who live by hyperbole, people who paint a sparky image of people to gain favour.
Nicely they describe you before you, and roast you as barbecue at your back. Such people,weed them off. They lack loyalty, integrity and honesty. Between a praise singer, one who massages ego and a blunt, frank person who should be close to you? The latter certainly brings more value.
Jarlath Uche Opara
jarlathuche@gmail.com