Opinion
THE FIERCE DEMON CALLED MASTURBATION
There is a fierce demon that many people battle silently ,men of God inclusive. It has no horns, carries no visible weapon, and makes no frightening appearance. Yet, for some, its grip can be remarkably powerful.
I call it the demon of masturbation. It can be as persistent as the demons of fornication and adultery and, in its psychological grip, can stand alongside pornography. Many people have attempted to break free from it, only to discover that the struggle is far more complicated than they imagined.
Severally, I have listened to the ordeals of people, men of God included who have battled this habit with little or no appreciable success. Some have resorted to fasting and prayer. Others have made solemn promises never to return to it, only to find themselves doing exactly what they had vowed to stop.
I once heard of someone who fasted and prayed intensely for deliverance from the demonic spirit of masturbation, only to relapse on the very day the fast ended.
Another person, desperate to break the habit, subjected himself to an extreme and degrading ritual, hoping that disgusting act would make masturbation unbearable. Yet even that did not solve the problem.
That tells us something important: some habits cannot be conquered by willpower, punishment or emotional intensity alone.
Masturbation is not exclusively a problem of unmarried people. Even people who are married, and therefore have the legitimacy to engage in marital sexual intimacy, still struggle with it. This reveals how deeply entrenched compulsive sexual behaviour can become.
Part of the attraction of masturbation is the illusion of safety. A person may reason: “At least I am not committing fornication or adultery. I am not involved with another person.” No fear of unwanted pregnancy etc.But from a Catholic moral perspective, that does not settle the question. The Church’s understanding of sexuality places sexual expression within the dignity and meaning of marital love. Thus, masturbation is regarded as morally disordered because it separates sexual pleasure from that marital meaning.
Beyond the moral question is another concern: what happens to the human person psychologically when sexual gratification becomes increasingly detached from relationship, intimacy and self-giving?
When a person repeatedly turns inward for sexual satisfaction, sexuality can gradually become centred on the self rather than on communion with another. The sacred gift of sexuality risks becoming reduced to a mechanism for immediate gratification.
Technology has complicated the struggle. Easy access to pornography, sexualised content and devices designed to provide sexual stimulation has created new avenues through which people can reinforce the habit of masturbation.What was once difficult to pursue privately can now be accessed with astonishing ease because of technology.
And this is where the battle becomes particularly dangerous: the habit can disguise itself as harmless relief.
When stressed? Masturbate. When Lonely? Masturbate.
In the midst of Frustration?Masturbate.
When sleep refuses to come? Masturbate. When Sexual desire becomes very compelling? Masturbate.
Before long, the brain can begin to associate every uncomfortable emotion with sexual gratification. What began as a choice can gradually become a pattern; what became a pattern can become a compulsion.
That is why simply saying, “I will never do it again,” may not always be enough. Prayer matters. Fasting matters. Spiritual discipline matters. But for someone dealing with compulsive behaviour, these may need to be accompanied by honest self-examination, accountability, changes in environment, healthier coping mechanisms and, where necessary, professional psychological support.
The goal should not merely be to stop an act. It should be to restore the person from turning themselves into mere sex object.
The human body is not an enemy. Sexual desire is not itself evil. The challenge is learning to govern desire rather than becoming governed by it.
Masturbation may promise a moment of pleasure, but when the habit becomes compulsive, the price can be much greater than the pleasure.
The real victory, therefore, is not simply saying, “I don’t masturbate.”It is being able to say:“I am no longer a slave to my impulses. I have regained mastery of myself.”
Perhaps that is where true freedom begins. Until one gets to this point of having an honest conversation with self, developing self awareness and deep sense of self dignity, masturbation may be a vicious circle of falling, raising, falling and raising again, with no end to it heaved in sight.
Jarlath Uche Opara
jarlathuche@gmail.com