There Is A Story Behind Everyone

DR jarlat Uche opara

We live in a world that comes with veils and cloaks. A world that makes it impossible for one to understand the next person unless there is a great measure of closeness, affiliation and comraderies.

Nobody is without a story, judging or assessing them on face value without understanding the very depth and dimensions of their story may not be anything but trying to strike the eye bull with blindfolded eyes.

One can only get it by chance and the chance is one out of 100.

We all have stories. The man you see well dressed, suited with a matching tie has a story behind him, only him knows. The guy out there, looking lean and unkempt, has a story, until you listen to his story, you have no moral ground to judge him.

Days ago I walked into the shop of my dry cleaner to collect my clothes. He only managed to iron few and asked me to come back the following day being Sunday to collect the remaining ones.

Do you open on Sundays? Yes. You don’t go to church? No he answered . I am not a Christian he said.

I was a bit surprised and told him I never believed him , he was only pulling my legs. Are you a Muslim? I asked him. No he answered. Are you a traditionalist? No . I pray to almighty God . At this point I became very inquisitive why a young man of his age wouldn’t be going to church.

Does your daughter go to church? Yes he answered. He has a 17 year old daughter that helps him in the shop. More of his front desk officer. What about your wife? Does she go to church too? I am a widower. I lost my wife 7 years ago. Have you remarried? No. I am bidding my time not to make mistakes. Marriage is a delicate matter.

At this point he opened up and told me how he married his wife as a young lady and sent her to school because of her intelligence. She graduated, served at National Assembly with a promise of being employed after her service.

It was while she was serving that he developed an illness that became cancerous. His story of how they were discriminated against because of tribe in a church environment where they tried to get help broke my heart.

As he was narrating the ordeal, one could see the pain, the frustration, the bitterness, the betrayal in his voice. I didn’t need anybody to tell me about the story behind his not going to church. An ordained deacon in a particular penticostal church he told me. At some point he worked closely with big annoited men of God in the penticostal church environment.

The story of how his wife’s sickness brought him from a very flourishing dry cleaning company in the high- brow of Abuja, to a very low and demeaning status, unconsciously let out tears on my eyes.

While narrating his story, suddenly he stood, pulled something from under his table, the remaining branded leather of his former company that attracted the patronage of Senators and top government officials.

Though heartbreaking, such was his story and the reality of his world. Nobody would ever know unless he tells you. He has been my dry cleaner for months. Within these months I looked at him with a different mindset.

Telling me a bit of his story, incredibly changed my opinion about him and his daughter.

People go about with stories. Unless they tell you, you won’t know. Many don’t resemble the stories of their lives. Judging them by what you see or hear on hear say would be very uncharitable and premature. Before you judge or form an opinion about someone, knowing their stories creates a better view and clearity of who they are truly.

That your old boy that seems disconnected from the group, may have a story unshared. That gateman that closes and opens gate for you certainly has a story behind why he is what he is today. That mad man or woman walking around naked may have stories around their situations.

That multiple million award winning company has a stories around it. So before you judge, condemn and admire anybody, first find out their stories. There is always a story weaved around persons either in their glory or gory circumstances. Be slow to judge. Be circumspect in admiring persons and situations until you understand the stories underpinning them.

Jarlathuche@gmail.com